I love cats. The first cat I was ever responsible for was Sir Lancelot the Brat, also known as “Damn Cat.” Seriously, that was the only name he actually responded to. Lancelot wasn’t actually my cat. A friend of mine moved to an apartment that didn’t allow cats, so he lived with me for about six months. He was a great cat, very, very smart. We used to joke that he was in chat rooms and sending email when we weren’t looking.
The first cat I actually owned was Kincaid, named after a character in a romance novel that I adored. He was fluffy, white and ginger and was the complete opposite of Lancelot. Where Lancelot had grace, even for a large cat, Kincaid would fall off of a table without provocation. We’d swear Lancelot was smart enough to send email, where as Kincaid couldn’t figure out how to get down from a cabinet he got himself up onto. But, he was a sweetheart and liked nothing better than cuddling at night. Unfortunately, he got out of the apartment one day and didn’t come back. Most cats can find their way home, but… Well, I already said Kincaid was a couple sandwiches short of a picnic, didn’t I? I hope he was taken in by another loving family.
The deal I had with Mr. Liu when we bought the house was I would get a cat, no ifs ands or buts. I was getting a cat. After we unpacked enough stuff to have a place to put the litter box, we adopted Darkness. He’s totally named after the Rick James skit from Chapelle Show. To his credit, the first thing he did when we brought him home was scratch the couch, as though to say “Fuck your couch!”
Eventually, I brow beat convinced Mr. Liu that Darkness was lonely as an only cat and that we should adopt a sister for him. That would be Kali, named after the Indian goddess of death and destruction (ask the couch if it’s accurate). She was timid at first (and will still often run off if you sneeze without warning), but she’s a little lover. All she wants in life if your attention. And to lick your face. (Unfortunately, the dish I got her, which reads “Tuna Breath”, is incredibly accurate.) My favorite thing about Kali is that she will let me put stuff on her head for no reason.
Cats. What’s not to love?